Whatever it is that you resist, be that feelings, work, confrontation, chores…..will still be there even though you are resisting, right?  Another word for this that some use is procrastination.  Somehow we try to convince ourselves that if we ignore it or put it off it will go away?!  But does it, no!  In the world of mental health, the more we resist feelings we are having, the more then continue to bother us until finally we blow up (remember the pressure cooker) and cause us much more trouble than it would have if we had not resisted for so long.  So, my advice would be fairly obvious at this point…stop resisting and face the feelings.  Face the fears.  Move through it instead of denying or running from it.  It might be scary at the time, but very well worth it after you do it!

“Human beings would rather go through life being right doing the wrong thing that to go through life being wrong doing the right thing…Why is it so difficult to change your habits, your comfort zones?  It is because nearly all of your brain cell patterns are baesd on right and wrong.  You see, if you change your comfot zone, you are admitting that something must have been wrong with it or there would be no reason to change it, would there?  Because of this programming, people have the feeling that if they change they are admitting to the whole world that what they were doing was wrong or that the chnage may be wrong.  It is because of this programming with right and wrong that we hang onto our problems.  We don’t want to let go of them.  You’ve all experienced this.”
How attached are you to your version of RIGHT and WRONG?

Please be sure to view my ‘important links’ page!  I am adding all kinds of great things as I find them….everything from great daily affirmations, help for family behavior modification plans, to hospice and palliative care…..and much, much more!

Have you ever noticed that when someone says “YOu did a great job BUT…….” that whatever words come after the BUT are the truth?  Or, “I love you BUT……I don’t want to be with you anymore.”  There a millions of examples, but the concept will never change: Whatever comes AFTER the b.u.t. is the TRUTH of the matter!  BUT stands for behold the underlying truth.  In nother words, listen to what I say AFTER I have said the word BUT.  So, watch how often you do that!  Watch when others do that.  YOu will notice it happens a lot, can be kind of disturbing but very enlightening also.  It can/does change the whole context of sentences, conversations, etc. when we are willing to be aware of our words, own them and say what we MEAN!  Try not staying “BUT” for a day and see if you can and how it feels!

Diogenes said that, and he was right.  Every person’s experience is created internally, by him or herself.  No one outside of you can tell you what anything means, or whether you are ‘hurt’ or not.  If you feel hurt by something or someone, it is the result of your decision to feel that way.  This may be tough to hear, but it is true.  You can change your mind at any moment about how something is affecting you.
Quote from Neale Donald Walsch

Do you ever should on yourself or others?  Catchy way to become aware of a very common word, eh?!  We do it all the time.  We say ‘I should have’ or ‘they should’ or many variations of it.  STOP IT!  That is a very detrimental word!  It does not help anything, and puts immediate judgment on ourselves or others.  If we ’should have’ then we didn’t do it well enough?  Or if ‘they should’ then we are judging that they are not doing it right or good enough?  Ick!  Can you see that this can be harmful to our mental health?  Become aware of when/where/how often you do this and work on taking that word OUT of your vocabulary?!  (And BTW–once you start noticing it in your own vocabulary, you will be AMAZED at how often we all say it without thinking)!

Ever thought about that?  From the moment we meet others, we are teaching them what is acceptable to say to us, to do to us and how to treat us.  Since this is a very powerful statement to fully take in, I am not going to go into too much detail.  I think it is fairly self-explanatory.  I will say though, as hard as it may be to hear, the good news is that just as you may have unconsciously taught them to treat you, now that you are consciously aware of this, you have the power to change it!  So, go for it!  Look at the results in your life, how others DO treat you and begin slowly but surely teaching them a better way to treat you!

No one or nothing outside of us has to change for us to be happy.  I fought this concept for years, thinking that ‘if only’ this person, that thing would happen I would finally ‘get’ happiness.  I knew this concept, intellectually understood this concept but still was fighting to have circumstances and relationships RIGHT before I could be happy.  So, if this seems foreign to you or you don’t agree or don’t get it, I understand!  But, if you want to give it some serious thought, it really is true to the core!  WE are responsible for our happiness under any and all circumstances.  No one has to change, we do!  As we work through our own issues or problems, the ones that we thought THEY had to change seem to disappear!  For instance, if someone is too needy in my life, I think they need to get ‘fixed’ so they will leave me alone, back off, etc, right?  Well, what if it is MY problem to correct for myself.  What if MY boundaries are not in very good shape, and my needs are being trampled on because I need to be more clear, worry less about how they will react if I tell them what I need?  Hopefully this simple example helps you get the bigger picture.  What if I think I have to get that big promotion and THEN I will be happy?  What is behind my drive, my need for the promotion?  That won’t ever make me truly happy until I realize and deal with the feelings behind it: something like ‘others will be impressed and accept me more if I make more money,’ or ‘my family can be financially stable then, but not until then.’  Get the point?  Those things are NOT true!  You can have others accept you and create stability on many levels even if you don’t get that promotion.  But, we believe, truly believe to the bone that things have to change for us to be happy, don’t we?  Well, take another look.  That gives a LOT of power to things outside of yourself which you have no control over.  You can only control yourself, your responses, reactions and OWN happiness!

The Golden Rule tells us to ‘do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’  When we put ourselves in the position of the person we are directing our actions toward and treat them as we would want to be treated, the reaction will be synergetic and complementary.  When two people bring together their positive energies, the effect is enhanced.  Don’t respond to negative reaction with more destructive action.  When we do, the law of intertia takes over and we keep going down the path of negativity that can created a hell on earth.  We always reserve the right to say what we would like and why; we always give others a choice, and we always accept people as they are.  Trying to change others doesn’t work and is frustrating.  Ultimately, when we choose to act with love, and react with faith based upon the will of infinite wisdom, the results of our personal interactions will be beneficial to all concerned.  Our peace and poise will be in spiritual balance as we manifest the divine truth within.    Taken from Science of Mind magazine, December 2008 edition

How many of you….holiday season upon us, are MUCH better at giving than receiving?  Probably most.  We all are.  It feels good to give to others!  And how many of you are hesitant to receive?  Is it uncomfortable to take from others?  Even a compliment, help, support, someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on?  That makes you pretty darn normal!  We ALL have some degree of hesitation about receiving.  BUT–I want to challenge that now!  You probably just admitted to yourselves that it feels GOOD (maybe even great) to GIVE, right?  To give a hand, a shoulder, a compliment or a gift of our time/energy/monetary gift….Well, on the flip side, how does it feel to have a gift rejected?  How does it feel to have someone NOT WANT what you have to give?  What are you taking away from the giver by not being willing to receive their gift?  Ever think of it that way?  That puts a new ‘twist’ on receiving, doesn’t it?  Who are we to take the joy of giving away from someone else, maybe someone that we say we love?  This happens also when we admit to ourselves that we love to be there for others to talk to, but don’t make the call to reach out when WE need it.  We feel like we are being a burden, but what if, just what if, they may want/need to GIVE to you by listening.  Who are we to take that away from others?  This is a very important concept, needs some mental/emotional time and attention throughout the year, but especially this time of year!  Let it open you to new possibilities!

Happy Holidays!